Holding Yourself To Safety

Have you ever faced your fears and confronted what lies beneath them?

I did recently, and it caused me to have a panic attack.

I was in a changing room getting ready for some medical tests and I felt my body shaking and tears pouring out of me.

Thankfully, I have acquired somatic safety tools in my time and began to hold myself.

I placed my right hand under my left armpit and hugged my left arm around me. I let myself cry and calmly told myself repeatedly that “I was safe, and I am choosing to do this.”

After what seemed like a long time, I began to settle down and discover the root of my fear.

My body remembered all the time I didn’t have bodily autonomy.

This awareness allowed me to see my wounds and vulnerability and reparent myself to safety and agency.

I came out of the dressing room feeling fully exposed and was met with an overpouring of kindness, which made me cry harder.  

The afraid little girl whose voice and boundaries got ignored was fully seen and held that day.  

I share this experience with you, to you let you know there are safe people and environments that will hold you in the unraveling of your fear.

It is those precious moments of being witnessed and loved in your full messiness that you begin to heal your deepest fears.